How to Share Family Care Values With Your Caregiver
EDUNANNY® BY BUTLER · PARENT GUIDE
“Comfort matters to us” names a family care value. To make it useful for a caregiver, add an everyday example, a possible starting response and a question you can discuss together.
Begin with one priority rather than a long list. The aim is to explain what matters to your family while leaving room for the child’s needs, the caregiver’s observations and the agreed care arrangement.
Explain what the value means in your family
A word such as comfort, dignity or connection can mean different things to different adults. Pair it with one routine you can picture. For example, explain what a calm beginning to play looks like in your home, rather than asking a caregiver to “keep the baby happy”.
The Raising Children Network’s family-centred guidance recommends understanding a family’s goals, expectations, values and everyday life, and working with parents to choose suitable approaches. That supports a conversation about your own family, rather than assuming a universal definition of good care.
Cultural traditions, familiar words and family habits can be part of that conversation. Explain the detail that matters and why. Ask what is familiar to the caregiver, what needs clarification and what is workable in the setting.
For instance, “Please use this familiar greeting when you arrive” is easier to discuss than “Respect our culture”. If the words are unfamiliar, demonstrate them or agree how the caregiver can ask for help. Do not assume the same word, phrase or routine means the same thing to both adults.
Connect the value to an observable moment
Use four parts to explain one priority. The table is an original planning aid, not a service form, regulatory requirement or developmental test. Its infant play example is fictional.
| Part | What to write | Fictional example |
|---|---|---|
| Value | What to writeName one priority and the routine it concerns. | Fictional exampleComfort and connection during awake, supervised play. |
| Moment | What to writeDescribe what an adult might see or hear, without deciding its cause. | Fictional exampleThe infant turns away after a familiar book comes into view. |
| Starting response | What to writeOffer a possible beginning to discuss, with room to change or stop. | Fictional examplePause the book invitation and attend to what the infant does or needs next. |
| Open question | What to writeInvite the caregiver’s observation and judgement. | Fictional exampleWhat did you notice next, and how did you respond? |
Keep an observation separate from a label. “The infant turned away after the book appeared” describes a sequence. “The infant was bored” adds an explanation that this moment does not establish.
A family value also differs from an outcome you want a child to produce. “Give the infant room to finish play” describes an adult approach. “Make the infant look back” makes the child’s response a condition of success. Your note should help adults discuss their approach without requiring a particular look, sound or action.
Try a short comfort-and-connection message
In this invented example, an adult is close by during awake, supervised infant play in a clear, suitable space. A familiar age-appropriate book is offered within view. The infant turns away. The example illustrates a caregiver conversation, not a diagnosis or an activity the infant needs to complete.
“We value comfort and connection during play. If our baby turns away after a book comes into view, please pause the invitation and attend to what they do or need next. Could you tell us what you noticed and how you responded?”
Discuss the message before treating it as agreed guidance. The caregiver might ask what you mean by pausing, explain a different observation or point out a practical limitation. Clarify the wording together. There is no requirement to offer the book again or obtain a return look.
The Raising Children Network’s guidance for professionals communicating with parents emphasises respect for families’ values and languages, plain language, accurate observations, listening and checking understanding. Here, those principles support the adult conversation; they do not establish what an infant’s turn means.
For your own first note, use: “We value ___ during ___. When you notice ___, a starting response to discuss is ___. What would you notice or ask before deciding what comes next?” Fill it with a genuine family priority and routine, not a prediction of your child’s response.
Listen to the caregiver and review the wording
Ask the caregiver to explain the note in their own words and raise any uncertainty. Check whether both of you can picture the moment, understand the suggested beginning and say what remains open to discussion.
Agree a useful way and time to revisit it. The Raising Children Network’s guidance for parents and carers recommends sharing routines and useful information, and asking about the best way to stay in touch. It does not require one universal app, note format or reporting frequency.
After a relevant care moment, ask what was noticed, what the adult did and what followed. Keep the account descriptive. An invented note might read: “The book appeared, the baby turned away and the caregiver paused the invitation.” It records a sequence without claiming that the book caused discomfort or that the pause produced an outcome.
Revise wording that is hard to picture, assumes a meaning or asks for a response the child did not offer. Keep wording that explains your family priority clearly. Add another value when another genuine care routine needs discussion, rather than filling a page for its own sake.
For an EduNanny pilot enrolment discussion, our Know Your Child care-brief guide covers the wider routines and information to bring. This values note explains one priority within that broader conversation. Private nanny care, the pilot and licensed childcare have their own agreed care and communication arrangements.
Bring one useful example to the next conversation
Write one value, one recognisable moment, one possible starting response and one open question. Invite the caregiver to help make the wording clear and workable. A shared understanding of that example is a useful starting point for discussing the next.
Sources and image credit
- Raising Children Network: a family-centred approach — understanding individual goals and values.
- Raising Children Network: communication with parents — respect, plain language and checking understanding.
- Raising Children Network: relationships with educators and carers — sharing routines and agreeing communication.
Stock photograph by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash, used under the Unsplash licence. An illustrative planning image; it is not an actual family’s values note or EduNanny care record.
